Plenty of Fish

Thursday, October 24, 2013 | |


INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Jake enters the cafeteria. Ryan, his friend, is sitting alone. His notes, laptop, and lunch are simultaneously sprawled across the table. Ryan is typing away.

Jake: (spotting Ryan) Hey.

Ryan: Dude! What the hell, man. Why weren't you at class?

Jake: Um, I just woke up.

Ryan: (glances his watch) It's one. PM. Wednesday.

Jake: Uh, yea. Sorry.

Ryan: Whatevs. (discontent) If you hurry they might still have a sub or a slice right now. Unless you want the soup. Nobody wants that shit though.

Jake: I'm good.

Ryan: You probably need the notes, right? Hold on. I gotta finish this.

Jake: Actually (cuts himself off).

Ryan resumes typing. Jake sits himself, pulls out his water and takes a sip. A minute or two passes. Ryan stops, lowers his laptop screen, grabs his half-eaten lunch and begins munching.

Ryan: Long night?

Jake: She broke up with me.

Ryan: (stops chewing) When?

Jake: Last night.

Ryan: I'm sorry, man.

Jake: Yea.

Ryan: You okay?

Jake: Uh huh, I think so.

Ryan: Why did she break up with you?

Jake: I don't know.

Ryan: She didn't say?

Jake: Well, she said I was the right guy but at the wrong time.

Ryan: What the fuck does that mean?

Jake: I don't know.

Ryan: (chewing again) That's messed up.

Jake: Yea, maybe.

A moment admits.

Ryan: Cheer up dude, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

Jake: Uh, what? No. I don't want another fish.

Ryan: It's a big sea. You never know.

Jake: No, don't give me that bullshit. That's not how it works, and you know it. If your copy of 'Halo' broke and I told you, "It's OK, there are other games in the sea. Here, play 'COD' instead." What would you say? You'd be like, "Fuck that, give me my 'Halo'." There is no other fish.

Ryan is speechless.

Ryan: (murmurs) Wow.

Jake: That's what I thought.

Ryan: That is some next-level, I don't even know what to call it.

Jake: (sighes; pausing) Yea. I wouldn't mind playing 'Mass Effect' though. I read some good reviews.

Ryan: Wait, is the analogy still on? Because, you know, who's 'Mass Effect'?

Jake: Shut up. You know what I mean.

Note: This post was inspired by a 9gag entry I saw a while back.

1 comments:

derek said...

yo bro. Nice post. Hope you doin well.

Derek