Enter Reminiscence

My nights are filled with vitamin water and Stewart's root beers. I dared drinking the limited edition of Jone's cola with picture of Obama my friend gave me, but I couldn't in the end. I still have faith in him. Sleepless nights, one after another. Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine. Unnecessary, but fascinating and interesting each night, I feel as though I'm picking up new hobbies as if I'm collecting pennies. From reading about fish to reading about success stories of screenwriters, from looking up stocks for no apparent reason to looking up recipes, I seem to be searching for something. Maybe it's in the 6-cylinder engine of a Porsche 911, or perhaps it's in the new trend of utilizing bamboo in industrial designs. Fashion. Looking up women's dresses, browsing through men's suits, shoes, watches, belts, shirts, ties, cufflinks, down to the details of materials and patterns. Styles varying from urban chic to hobowears. Rolled up sleeves, rolled up pants. Gadgets, reviews on Googlewave, articles on copyright warfare, Sarah Palin, TED videos, the best nail-guns, submarine designs, more heavy metal.

What could I possibly be looking for?

It's nearing 4 months of stay at my new place and nearing 3 months of bachelorhood. I liked the sound of it in the beginning, but no. Living alone is not as cool as I thought. But I did learn a lot, about myself, practicing my freedom, chores, making to-do lists, housekeeping routines, planning portions for my grocery shopping, and adjusting my food portions, always keeping a mental note of how much food I have in my fridge and when they'll expire.

Few lessons I've learned living at this apartment. Let's see if I can list them out, in no particular order.

One, always keep spare fuses. Few weeks ago, 3 blocks of my neighborhood had a power outage for 8 hours. Being simply annoyed, I went out to study at a cafe and when I came back the power was back on. But 2 of my 4 house fuses had been blown and at the time I didn't have any spare fuses. The 2 fuses were my heater and the room electricity. It was a very, very cold and long, sleepless night.

Two, loneliness tends to reveal your character more dramatically. Generally, people are nice, so when they're lonely they're nicer to others. But some people are meaner than others, and it shows more explicitly. I guess I'm the former.

Three, I am not as much a meat-lover as I thought I was. Most of my grocery expenses go on vegetables, or fresh produce. Even making a direct comparison between vegetable and meat spendings, I spend about twice as much on vegetables. And I noticed I put mushrooms in everything. Any kind of pasta, stir-fries, noodles, or even just as side dish.

Four, I really don't like it when more than 10 percent of the apartment is covered with furniture. I wish I can get rid of the piano, the closet, the kitchen table set, and the couches. I'd rather live on the floor with a floor-table. The only thing I wouldn't mind covering would be the walls and windows. But they have to be unobtrusive.

Five, teas are communal and ceremonial drinks. I'd much rather share tea with someone than to drink it by myself. I find myself drinking water and coffee more than I drink tea. It used to be the other way around.

Six, I can survive with a 20 dollar phone plan. I don't have much use for a phone. I'm quite diligent at picking up my phone; I have always have been, but I can survive without it. Right now, I'm paying too much.

Seven, water has healing powers. I bathe much more frequently now, and one thing I realized was that just taking a dip in steam-hot water can go a long way to relieve your stress.

Eight, I do things better when I'm by myself. I'm more self-motivated and diligent. I just don't have anyone else to blame for my shortcomings or failures. So I probably try that much harder.

Nine, I'm not good at administrative tasks. This includes signing sublease forms, contracts, school forms, applications, e-mailing requests, sorting out costs, paying bills, etc. I overlook things too often and I get stressed over small tasks easily.

Ten, loneliness is a fatal disease.